the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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