I should be sponsored by Trojan
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
