me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
