So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize