sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
