Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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