So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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