I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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