My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
