so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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