can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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