You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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