I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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