ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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