I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize