i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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