you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you traded sex for a burrito?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
