You don't have asthma, your pregnant
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
