I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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