im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
