Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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