His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
