I'm going to jail i love you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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