why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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