You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
