Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
