So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
