the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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