So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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