five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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