hell yes lets make some ravioli
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize