all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
