why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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