We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
