I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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