were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize