Jerry, you need to find god
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
