Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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