I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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