Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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