I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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