You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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