CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
