She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
