I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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