ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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