yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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