If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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