party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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