Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
