I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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