I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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