i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
