so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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