Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
tell me about the fingering
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