So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
