he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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